Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
