If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
