i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
