I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He did a backflip because drugs
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
