Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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