Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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