no, he came in my armpit
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
