pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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