The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
