I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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