maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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