I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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