i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
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So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
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That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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