You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
