I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
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I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
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why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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