tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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