I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
