Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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