If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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