i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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