I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
