it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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