The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So many bounce houses so little time
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
