I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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