Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
