the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
