HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
