6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
