No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
