I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
