yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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