Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
