Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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