Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
