They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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