but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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