is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
