Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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