So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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