Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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