so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
