Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
