Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
