we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
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Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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