So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
