I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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