make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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