After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
