Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
