if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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