gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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