but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I think I won the penis lottery.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
