ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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