Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
