Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
