what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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