"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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