Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
