well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
