508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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