I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
