Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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