everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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